These two little loves of mine.
Just moments before I plopped down at my desk I was cleaning the coat closet, a favorite activity, while listening to my newly downloaded Beatles picks on iTunes. Retrieving little jackets shoved into the few empty spaces, I discovered wooly hats stuffed in random boots and the mitten I was searching the house for yesterday. As I tended to the less complicated part of my day, I found myself singing along with so much passion that I did something I hadn’t done since my freshman year in college. I simply stopped and sat in the closet to think. Weird as it might look, I felt like something huge was coming, like a storm or an epiphany.
“When I find myself in times of trouble mother Mary comes to me… speaking words of wisdom.. Let it be… And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me… speaking words of wisdom.. Let it be…”
I believe everyone has a beacon of light, whether it’s traveling with you right now or not. Whether you see it in the distance or not. Whatever that looks like, something brings you, and me, peace. It’s that person, place or thing that kidnaps us from fear’s grasp and returns us safely to ourselves.
During lunch today the kids were asking about my childhood, specifically about the dungeon I was sent to play in when I was a small child. My early years must sound like Dickens next to what they experience every day.
“The dungeon… was it scary?” Will asked, his eyes wide and bright. Hope leaned in a little as if the answer would have significant meaning.
“Yes. Back then I thought the devil lived there,” to which I quickly added, “but I don’t believe in the devil anymore and nothing was in that dungeon except me and my imagination… and some big spiders.” Both pairs of eyes squinted at me like there was something more that I wasn’t giving up.
“Who is this devil Mom?” Hope inquired, so serious that I could see her as an investigative reporter one day. Well, needless to say we talked about my Catholic upbringing, ghosts, angels, spirit guides and even kirtan music for a long time until Hope gave me a shock.
“I believe there is a spirit that goes everywhere with us,” she said matter-of-factly and I think I actually cocked my head. We’d never explored anything like that before. She added the spirit could be any color you wanted. Cool.
“I believe in the Universe… and everything in it,” Will added, his arms spread out wide like he was giving the air before him a bear hug. Nice.
Me? I believe in light. I believe we are all connected. We live for a brief moment and whatever joy we find along the way is a gift. Today I tuned into the little things that set my heart on fire – talking with my kids, disconnecting from my mind and turning up the volume on my heart.
“And when the night is cloudy… there is still a light that shines on me… Shine on until tomorrow… Let it be”
“I wake up to the sound of music… mother Mary comes to me… Speaking words of wisdom… Let it be”