I think it says something that it’s okay for celebrities to have trans sons, but not daughters.

We will never know what Christine felt and thought, and all the signs we think we see aren’t real or true, but both the expression of the depressed person near suicide and our perceptions of those expressioin, hoping we see right. And sadly, nothing could be farther from the truth. I lost a nephew to suicide a few years ago and his parents said they did everything right. They didn’t and didn’t see when it was near.

Needless to say my words weren’t appreciated when I tried to explain why they missed the clues and why, in part, it wasn’t them, and in part, it was them (like they wanted to hear that – except stupid me was trying to say there was nothing they could have done to prevent it, only then but not in the future). In short, you will never know what your child feels and the best you can do is just always be there to listen and ask. And hope.

And if your child trusts you enough, then they will open up enough to let you in if there are going down that road. It’s a complex set of factors with any young person prone to depression, and even suicide, and thankfully, rare, and the vast majority of parents never have to worry, let alone fear for their children about this.

I can understand the writing freeing yourself. My Dad rarely spoke to us kids, and even less to me. He only shared with his friends, even Mom felt alone and isolated too often. A year after he passed way she gave me one piece of advice, “Don’t be your father.” I took that to heart and slowly over the years opened up to friends and then in retirement where my words won’t hurt my career (although I shot a lot of holes in my career) I decided to say what I thought as long as I followed everyone’s grandmohter’s advice with a caveat.

It’s the old adage, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything.”, to which I learned as supervisor, “If you can’t express a negative as positive, don’t say anything.” Even when a friend got wasted and stupid at a party, all I said was, “Well, it’s not the worst thing you done in your life and it certainly won’t be the last.” Change life to career and the same applies to what I said to a staffer who screwed up.

It’s cool to see what 50 years has done for children who are different in just being themselves, and the parent(s) love and support that shows what’s possible and what can and should be done for children. I am grateful you’re sharing your experience, your voice and your wisdom.

(sigh)

Patience, Mama Bear — methinks you and your kindred spirits are going to need that (and perseverance) in abundance.

Someone has to have the courage to stand up and distinguish right from wrong and today that person is me. It won’t help what happened to my child but it may save another child. That is enough. Even though it doesn’t have a single thing to do with buckling up (my figure of speech) it does have to do with parents looking out for their own children and doing what is necessary so it fits both ways. I love when life works out that way!

Best- Jen

And sadly not done often enough, not even once by some mothers.

God Bless the child who has the mother who believes in them and is willing to be there. Every child should be so blessed. Thank you for being there and being the voice for your children.