08 Wednesday Feb 2012
Posted in anger, coping, discussions, gender diversity, life lessons, my childhood, school, uncategorized
After about an hour on the phone with my hosting company I’d trudged through five people in four departments while holding for long, silent stretches. They told me there was nothing they could do to help me. This struck a chord for some reason. Instead of my usual {shrug} I did something that I don’t normally do…
29 Sunday Jan 2012
Tags
childhood trauma, gender diverse kids, Jazz, overcoming pain, releasing doubt, second chances, starting over, transgender kids
A muscle in my shoulder twitched before it went numb and then the dreaded pins-and-needles phase began. I wouldn’t move my thumping limb; however, as I felt that the barrier it provided from the rest of the world was more important than, oh, being pain-free. Ironic it would be the same shoulder crushed in an unfortunate and near fatal horse riding accident. Some nights I still wake up, now thirty years later, and I’m laying on my back with my lifeless thumping arm in the same traction position. Throwing the covers off from sweating, I’m just thankful it wasn’t a dream where I’m trapped beneath Scorpio’s hooves battling for my life.
25 Wednesday Jan 2012
Tags
activism, challenges, confidential, Jennifer Carr, living stealth, privacy, pseudonym, transgender advocacy
While prepping for a talk at the University of Chicago today I brought up my YouTube video and saw a face I hardly recognized. She hid behind her trusty glasses, her voice slow and steady as if she was choosing her words as carefully as she would select which colored wire to cut. One slip and kaboom!
Fiddling with the adaptors for the sound I commented to a person helping to organize the event that I hardly wore my glasses anymore when speaking. After I said it I felt an immediate sense of hiding I felt uncomfortable with back then, and now.
“What’s changed,” she asked.
“I guess I get less threats now…” I replied, and then the gravity of what I said sunk
22 Sunday Jan 2012
Tags
Girl Scout cookie boycott, Girl Scouts, inclusion, Parks and Recreation, segregation, transgender kids
My Brownie uniform
“True, all-girl experience,” those were the words of the teen named Taylor who is part of a group trying to get people to boycott Girl Scout cookies because the Girl Scouts allowed a transgender child to belong to a troop as reported by CNN Living, on January 13, 2012.
There’s so many things that I find bewildering… where to start? First, I think it’s bizarre that we have to segregate boys and girls in groups. I was a Brownie, and even 30 years ago I thought it wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t there just be Scouts so that everyone could join?
03 Tuesday Jan 2012
Posted in acceptance, belief, Buddha, challenges, compassion, coping, family, fear, friends, gender diversity, gender identity, gender non-conforming, gratitude, grief, happiness, holidays, joy, life lessons, love, support, transition, uncategorized
Tags
awareness, compassion, gender diverse kids, gifts, gratitude, holiday cards, holidays, love, my kids, new day, parenting
Yawwwwn. As you might have noticed I took a tiny writing hiatus for the holidays so that I could mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally step back and just observe.
I’d love to share some revelations with you. Some epiphanies are big and need a little explaining. Some are silly. All of them sunk into my psyche in a deep, meaningful way during my vacation and without judging, I had a way of being with this awareness in a completely new way, like being taken to a party where I didn’t know anyone. I had to feel my way around, ask questions, and above all else, I had to listen. So, let’s begin…
16 Friday Dec 2011
Tags
bathrooms, Boston Globe, HRC, identical twins, parenting, school, transgender youth, transitioning young
If you haven’t read the latest Boston Globe article about a family that supports and advocates for their transgender child, and her identical twin brother. The power of love!
09 Friday Dec 2011
Tags
acceptance, challenges, communication, coping, emergency, ER, fear, gender diverse kids, medical providers, school, transgender kids
“Check in with your chaperone… Know where your medicine bag is… Talk with them before you leave… Before you leave, Hope!”
I felt myself go over the edge as I quizzed Hope this morning, yet I couldn’t bring myself to stop. Her life literally depends on this information and yet the more I pound in the who-what-where she peacefully glances out the window daydreaming about fairies and princesses and the next Judy Moody book. My panic is all mine.
Once the field trip form popped into my inbox, the gravity of the situation came into clear focus as though never before; she could potentially be in danger and not have anyone know how to help her. Like many children these days, Hope has a peanut allergy and carries a medicine bag with her 24/7. Allergies, and so much more.
26 Saturday Nov 2011
Posted in acceptance, belief, community, coping, education, gender diversity, gender identity, gender non-conforming, gender variant, happiness, joy, LGBTIQ, life lessons, love, school, support, transgender, transition, uncategorized, yoga
Tags
acceptance, boys who feel like girls, coping, gender diverse kids, girls who feel like boys, parenting, school, students, support, teachers, transgender, Truth
Waking up from a hazy savasana, I sat up to notice the dozens of teachers and students sprawled out on the benches around me. It dawned on me that moments before I’d been giving a talk on gender identity, expression and diversity at a local grammar school. I’d forgotten completely.
A wash of relief spread from the crown of my head and covered me like hot fudge melting down a cold scoop as I recalled the acceptance I felt as I talked about girls who feel like boys and boys who felt like girls. The supportive nods from teachers and the thoughtful questions produced by curious minds. But tell me again how we ended up laying down?
25 Friday Nov 2011
Posted in belief, birth names, compassion, coping, discussions, family, fear, gender diversity, gender identity, gender non-conforming, gender variant, happiness, holidays, LGBTIQ, life lessons, love, memories, my childhood, parenting, school, secrets, siblings, stealth, transgender, transition, uncategorized
Tags
being outed, boundaries, confidentiality, discussions, friends, gender diversity, outed, privacy, school, secrets, siblings, stealth, transgender
“Children should be seen and not heard.”
How many times did I hear this when I was little? After a while I didn’t need it whispered into my ear anymore, I embodied it. I knew there were things I was never expected to say, at home or out in public, like they never happened. Off limits for good, like a dangerous abandoned mine.
22 Tuesday Nov 2011
Posted in acceptance, belief, challenges, compassion, coping, family, gender diversity, holidays, joy, life lessons, love, memories, my childhood, parenting, support, uncategorized
Tags
accepting the past, awareness, childhood, children, gratitude, honoring the future, loving, parenting
“Mom, what does a parent call their child when the kid grows up?”
“Their child.”
“But say the kid is grown up, not a child anymore?”
“Our children grow up and become adults, and yet our children will always be our children. Forever.”
“I like that.”
In our quiet moments I grab my youngest and cuddle him like I did when he was small as he squirms and squeals for me to let him go. While I shower him with loud smacking kisses on the top of his head he half laughs/ half screams for immediate release. Where did the time go? How did my plump little tot become even more willful and remarkably strong? My baby.
