Tags
ABC, boy who feels like girl inside, coping with gender identity, gender diversity education, girl who feels like boy inside, parents of transgender children, Private Practice, Truth
Once people can see, and feel, and absorb issues related to gender identity in popular culture, big changes will come. I’ve said it every time I give a talk. Television and movies allow people, in the privacy of their own home, to wrap their heads around issues that they know nothing about, for good or bad. That’s why it’s so important to have good content about gender identity, especially in kids, out there.
Imagine my surprise when my sister called me about Private Practice, a show I’d never seen, and told me that they aired a show last night about a child trapped in the wrong body. Well, you know how fast I jumped on Hulu to check it out!
This slice of life shows parents who are struggling with their child’s identity, as many parents and extended family do, and although there are things I would have changed (it’s the editor in me) it’s a solid start. No one does this life the same way. We walk different paths, and come to our realities when it’s our time.
My heart says that the best thing we as a society can do is open our hearts and our minds. Whenever possible, we can try to lower the shield of our judgment and let someone else’s story touch us as if we are walking that mile in their shoes.
Can I identify with the angry mom in the story? I don’t want to admit it, but if I’m going to be honest I have to. Maybe not the vehement reaction or the pressure to fit my child into a typical stereotype, but the fear was surely there when Hope started talking about being given the wrong body. Fear about what was happening. Fear about being “sure” before we made any big steps. Fear that I’d make a mistake and hurt my child in some way. I get the fear part, loud and clear.
But then you wake up one morning and silently watch your child as they move about the world and you see what is right there in front of you. Love and the truth trumps fear – always. You just have to summon up the courage to move past fear, and nothing inspires a parent more than the safety, happiness and well-being of their child. Nothing.
Supporting your child, no matter what they are going through, isn’t be easy. It isn’t popular. And it might be hard as hell to explain to others, but you know your child. If you truly listen, the truth is there. Your story doesn’t have to look like this show, or anyone else’s story for that matter. Each authentic path is genuine. It’s the only thing that’s real.
Tonight I sit with gratitude just thinking of the myriad of positive stories flooding into our popular culture related to gender identity and gender diversity. Now that this show aired perhaps it impacted lives across the country. Maybe someone out there better understands why their child/ grandchild fights when asked to wear a dress, or a suit. Maybe a child better understands how they can talk with their parent or teacher or friend. Maybe people who sat in judgment can see that they are just kids, same as anyone else.
I hope for a day that we don’t have to remind people that the suicide rates are 5 times greater for gender diverse kids than the national average… because these stories are saving lives.
Very well put; I, too, hope for that day. I hadn’t heard about the Private Practice episode, so thank you for sharing about it. It gives me hope, hearing about all the cultural “gatekeepers” who are using their opportunity to share stories that forge connections for hearts who need them. I figure, once people find the space in their heart for something they once saw as strange, they’ll be more ready to embrace that struggle as their own.
Thanks for letting us know about the show, Jennifer! =) I’ll have to watch it. It does seem that there are more episodes on transgender issues on network television these days. Can you imagine them airing them, say, five years ago? To me, that shows progress in our society.
I don’t watch Private Practice, but after reading your post I immediately went to Hulu and watched it. Being the parent of a FTM, it really hit home and I watched it with tears in my eyes because I could identify with every feeling that mother had. While I’ve always been supportive of my child and loved him unconditionally, it’s taken me some time to get to a point where I don’t really care what others think. I’m proud of who my son is, and I admire the courage he’s had to stand up for himself and be who he is. Society needs to continue to be educated about GID whether it’s through television shows such as this, or speakers and role models (such as yourself) speaking out.