Tags
acceptance, activism, balance, future, gender identity, gender variance, inspiration, joy, kids, love, self awareness, self expression, transgender, transition, writing
Once we attended the Gender Spectrum conference last year we felt the impact of having a supportive community around you. It was invigorating to be able to talk about life with others who could really understand where you are coming from. It was Hope’s first chance to meet other kids who identified as gender variant, trans or gender fluid. For her, she could finally get a tangible answer to her question “Am I the only one who feels this way?” The answer was a loud, resounding No! You are not alone.
When we got back home, I was compelled to find that support locally. I leaned on PFLAG for their guidance and they’ve never let me down. They directed me to a local group for Parents of Trans Kids and inspired me to host a play date for kids who aren’t gender normative. I found that all we need to do is reach out when we need help and it will be there. And in many cases, if you don’t find it, build it and as it goes, they will come.
Lately I have felt a little pushed and pulled in my world and so I’ve taken steps backward to gain perspective. I’ve been half engaged with writing my book about parenting a transgender child (and related activism) and half annoyed by my former interests (and career) that seem somewhat petty on the surface, although extremely important in the big picture. The choice between the two has been before me for months despite my resignation to the ability to juggle both priorities with enthusiasm. I know in my heart that I cannot do both fully and so I must choose.
I’ve often talked about my destiny here and as corny as it seems, I feel like Hope and I are parent and child for a reason. I feel this strong sense of purpose. Could I possibly help other parents on their journey toward understanding their gender variant children? Yes. Could this in turn help children across the globe live authentically every day of their life without shame? Could I help our kids have equal rights and protection under the law? Absolutely yes. Could I muster the courage to take the next step as parent/writer/activist? Hell yes!
Hello World- Here I come!
I think it would be a cool idea. As the New York Times article shows, there’s a lot of resources already available and you could easily add a voice with your experience, as well as pursue your own course. I would only caution that it comes at a price and cost. The price of your privacy and the cost of Hope. Being the parent of a transchild includes the child in whatever the parent does, and worth considering if she wants you to do this and welcomes the chance to help too. And it comes at the cost od your son who will also have to deal with the publicity.
I don’t mean this to question your decision or raise questions against your decision. It’s my nature to look at the negative side first and when those issues are addressed I can focus on the positives, and if they’re not addressed, then I procrastinate ad naseum. I’m only suggesting to weigh both sides of the possibilities. You can do a lot for others. It does, however, require you to step into the spolight of public view. As the news stories have shown, the opposition to anything trans is formidable with hate, fear-mongering and lies.
If that’s ok and everyone is fine, knowing the future won’t be known or certain, then go for it. I would also suggest talking to those who are already there and doing that. Those people are your best models for any reality check. Good luck.