Learning to Breathe
A few weeks ago I posted about needing a spiritual home to deal with my anxiety and a friend reached out to me. She said she is called to teach me yoga. At first I thought I’ve been doing yoga since I was five but that isn’t exactly true. I might have been getting into poses now and again and going through the motions, but I was never going there. I was never going anywhere.
Picture a person holding their breath through a difficult pose and you see how I have been getting through the tough stages of my life. Enduring it, but fighting it. Any beginner to yoga will tell you- yoga is the breath. It’s not twisting yourself up for a couple minutes while your mind wanders and then moving on. It’s a spiritual journey of being present and diving in. I didn’t know that. In truth, after 35 years of my on-again-off-again love affair with the practice, I don’t think I’ve ever truly embraced yoga until now.
I’ve spent my whole life searching for something (or someone) to make me okay. My Catholic upbringing didn’t do it for me. My love affairs didn’t fill the void. Neither did friends, food, fashion, movies, art, marathons, literature, alcohol, work, gardening, philanthropy… you get the picture. Fill in the blank- it didn’t make me feel whole. Only now do I see the equation more perfectly than I ever have in my life. Those things are all wonderful and beautiful, but they exist outside of me. I never knew that everything I ever needed exists right here in me. Right here in the breath that I seem to hold captive. I am enough.
Something else exsists inside of you too Jen. YOU. The spirit that is YOU.
Yoga is really only a tool which helps some people ‘control’ their physical side which then makes them feel good spiritually. The point you make about breathing has got much to do with it. That is about oxygen and the invigorating effects it has on the flesh. Deep breathing, taking in large amounts of oxygen and holding back expiration enables as much of the oxygen to be absorbed. Slowly releasing makes you feel lifted. It’s basically a natural process that more people should employ. I think it is all about knowing your body and giving it the respect it deserves. Yoga is a way of doing that but there are other ways too. I hope you find benefit though because being relaxed with yourself helps you face the things in life. It won’t answer your problems of course, they will remain no matter what else you do but you will be in a better position to deal with them. Love
Shirley Anne xxx
OW WOW! Dearest Jen/Eternal Mother You continue to amaze me. You are so strong in your honest vulnerability. You are a human first. In Yoga as in Life itself, there is only one way to proceed, as you express so eloquently in all of your words, all the time…We must begin each day with unconditional self love before we can send it out into the world…not in spite of, but because we are human and imperfect by our nature. Perfection is an abstract, not a human quality.
Oh My Goddess, you are amazing!
And may I humbly sugest that you find Hope a Wing Chun teacher. Or Aikido. Self defense is a necessity for the safety of people like me and Hope.
You continue to inspire me. Thanks!
April Rose
No- you spelled it right. It’s all good. Best- Jen
Thanks April Rose. It warms my heart what you said. And I appreciate the suggestion about a self defense class. Very good point and she’ll love it!! My Best- Jen