Dipping Into the Well of Happiness
I’m not sure whether it’s the sun peeking out behind the snowflakes or the camaraderie I felt at the play date this weekend or both combined, but I feel an overwhelming sense of peacefulness and inspiration. Life is going to be okay.
So many times I get lost in what I fear when I could feel dizzy with gratitude for all of the good things in my life. My children are happy and healthy. My family is loving and connected. Sure, there are the kinks in the chain of this life, but it remains strong nonetheless. It may look different, but it’s mine.
Hope is in a good space where she feels at ease with who she is (most of the time) and it inspires me. Her little locks are curling down around her ears, which makes for more mom and daughter time in the morning styling her hair. I still sneak a peek at her beaming in the mirror as we brush and comb those precious wisps reaching her collar. She’s so happy. Even Will notices. Yesterday he leaned over and whispered “Hope, you are beautiful.” and it brought streams of tears down my cheeks. How soft. How sweet for this otherwise scruffy voiced little “worker man” as he calls himself. She stopped for a moment and then gave him a huge hug that said it all.
Usually I get grumpy this time of year. Spring seems a little far from our reach in the Midwest and as winter lingers, sentiments run amuck. Not this year. I’ve consciously set my sights on the goodness of right now. Add a bottle of Vitamin D capsules, the Writings of Nichiren Daishonin and some Pilates and I am staying positive about where we are at. I’ve also taken to writing with pen and paper while writing the book and it’s unlocked a well of happiness. And truth.
It is good to be alive isn’t it Jen? It always was but when it comes home to you in the way you describe it’s such a wonderful feeling. It’s almost as if you’ve been living your life with your eyes shut then suddenly they are opened and what you see overwhelms you. I cherish moments like these. I hope the feelings continue and not fade away in the drudgery we call routine. Love
Shirley Anne xxx
I hear you when you talk about routine but I don’t think I am giving in to the monotony anymore. the blinders are off!!!!
Thank you for doing this blog, I am somewhere at the begining of this journey, my son has said so many times he wishes he were a girl and I think at 8 he may have let it go for a bit, not sure where it will lead to. He plays with his dolls and loves loves barbies, he seems okay with his boyness, but every so often I see pain in his eyes and it makes me sad.
Hi Robin & Welcome. It’s funny. I was just getting ready to write a post about the ambiguity of gender identity. Someone sent me a brochure that sounded kind of rigid and it made me realize that there aren’t any easy or fast answers. There aren’t any rules or knowns when it comes to how someone feels inside. It’s all an evolution.
Having said that, you know your child best. Talk with your child and ask questions. Let them know you love them no matter how they feel inside. And above everything else let them know they are not alone. Whenever I get frazzled by the path ahead I just look at my feet and take one step at a time and focus on love. If there is anything I can do to help please let me know and stay in touch.
My Best- Jen