Tags
future, gender identity, gender variance, inspiration, pride, self awareness, self expression, transgender, transition
Lately we have been watching Be Good Johnny Weir on IFC. A controversial and often outspoken character, people either love him or hate him. We love him.
It’s refreshing for all of us to see someone who can throw out rigid gender “rules” and express himself without apology. My daughter was awestruck during an episode when he was working with some young skaters. As he was coaching a gal who was having problems with her height he said something to the effect of “I was a tall, lanky girl with long arms too.” Hope quickly glanced in my direction and asked if she heard correctly as if she slipped into one of those montages you see in the movies where the tv starts talking to you. I nodded and she beamed.
As a family we talk about the fact that boys can dance elegantly and show their emotions just as girls can be tough and strong. There aren’t any rules for living. Just be honest and reflect who you are, no matter what. We’ll be cheering Johnny on this Olympic season as he brings his powerful, unique and inspiring talent to the ice.
A young version of Eddie Izzard methinks.
Shirley Anne xxx
I adore Eddie Izzard too Shirley Anne. While I was painting my kitchen I watched his stand up shows on Netflix and laughed through it all. He’s so funny and so real. My Best- Jen
I haven’t watched the series, but somehow after watching his performances and interviews, I’ve wondered if he doesn’t feel as though he wouldn’t mind being a woman and may want to transsistion if the reality of it didn’t kill his career and damage his personal life. I think he probably has done the homework to see the risks and costs, and decided to live as much as possible near the edge in between where he can find some level of comfort and still express himself. And who knows, maybe he’s waiting for the governing bodies to establish rules where he can perform as a woman. That would be cool, for him, for the sport, and maybe for others in the sport. It certainly would be a test for them too. Just my view.
People forget that ice skating and ballet are two endearvors where there is little difference in the preparation and training for performances, only the limitations of the body and the expression (style) are different. We’re also biased by our own expectations to see grace for women and power for men, forgetting both expresss both, only the details are different. Look at male ballerinas and you see the differences isn’t in their dance, but in our perception of them as men.
I love what you said Scott about perception. I think about that all the time and try to widen my perspective. Still trying every day. My Best- Jen
You’re welcome. I guess because my childhood in Europe (1952-55, 1959-63) I had to always see and accept people as themselves (since I worried about being accepted myself) and I’ve tried to keep that sense of openness, just enjoying the uniqueness of each of us. And partly because I remind myself, as I judge so do they judge me. We all have our bias about groups of people at large, that’s human natue, but it disappears when you meet them individually. It’s easy to hate a group, it’s hard to hate a person (ok, minus a the few obvious ones). And that’s what I keep in mind, a group is just a larger number of persons.
But the way I understand the Dr. Oz show has a segment with two transgender kids tomorrow (Thursday).
Thanks for the reminder on Dr. Oz. I wonder if this is the same but Oprah’s producers contacted me but were looking for parents who did not embrace their child. Obviously that isn’t me. None of the people I know feel that way and we certainly aren’t into exploiting our child for air time. I really hope the Dr. Oz thing is more respectful than what this sounded like. As always- thanks for your thoughts. I always enjoy reading them. Best- Jen
Firstly, thank you for this blog. I thoroughly enjoy reading every single blog post
It never ceases to amaze me when I read about how parents show their unconditional love to their transgendered child.
I watched the segment of Dr. Oz that was posted somewhere on Facebook. I think he handled it pretty well, especially for a tv show.
Thank you Sherlyn! So glad to meet you. Best- Jen
The Dr. Oz segment was excellent but too short. The two kids (one young and one teen) continue with the others of late to demonstrate all the concerns the child psychologists and psychiatrits have about transchildern not knowing who they are is clearly open to debate and even repudiation by the children. They not only challenge the reservations of the therapists, they really prove them wrong.
This isn’t saying there aren’t some children who have self-doubts or questions about their gender identity, but even those children need to room to explore and determine for themselves the right direction. Their innate sense of being is far better, as you’ve seen, than the adults who want “to do the right thing for them.”
If they did, why doesn’t the child improve when they prevent the child from expressing themselves? Why does this often lead to self-hate, self-isolation, behavioral problems, depression and even suicide? But then why does the child become happy and comfortable with themselves when they have the choices, support and freedom?
They simply are themselves and not trying to act to their parents interests, or worse, suppressing themselves until later in life. This I know. Sadly, there are a lot of older people who transistion, or not, are happy today’s kids have the opportunity and sad it’s too late for them. The childhood and young years they could have had, missed.
I wonder why the shows want parents who’s view conflict with their children, except as you note, to help ratings. They can’t fix bad parent-child relationships with one show, so why put it before the public? Everything isn’t Dr. Phil’s one-minute talk solution to any problem (sorry, his show on transgender children had a religious zealot against it as one of the “experts”).
Anyway, it was great to see one grinning and bubbly young girl and a happy teenager represent transchildren, and Dr. Oz being informative with a supportive pediatrician providing good information. That’s the show which could have used the whole time.