Fireworks of Faith
Small things make the biggest impact sometimes. Recently we visited the doctor and I noticed that Hope’s chart reflected her name. Not her birth name or the one that the insurance company needs to see mind you, I saw her name. Someone recognized how important her name is and changed the file. It filled my heart with such a sense of gratitude. When we’d seen a different doctor a couple months earlier it wasn’t the birth name on the file that bothered me but the fact the nurse kept asking if she was a twin (and loudly). She kept questioning how my daughter could have my son’s same information. In that moment, I wanted to believe things would get easier with time, but I hadn’t seen the signs… yet.
I feel this flood of optimism wash over me like a spring breeze, you know the one where you take off your stuffy winter coat for the first time, turn your head to the sun and close your eyes. Sure, there will be days ahead where I won’t feel like this. There will be times that are harder than what I’ve endured in the past, but for right now I am basking in the glow. To think one little gesture sparked fireworks of faith. I guess that’s all it takes sometimes.
That is so awesome. Hope, indeed!
Thanks Karianna! Despite a snowstorm outside I feel light as a feather!! Best- Jen
I cannot understand how insensitive some people in the medical profession can be. If for any reason at all you visit a hospital or surgery what is discussed should be private with a capital ‘P’. It is of nobody else’s business what you discuss with the staff. If they have a query they should speak with you in private.
How wonderful though that somebody had the insight to place the ‘correct’ name on her chart. I hope this will now encourage the right attitude in subsequent visits. I am sure it will. I cannot express my admiration for you enough. Your daughter has a wonderful and understanding mother. I wish all mums with a child who is transgendered could be as you are. You are so special. So is your daughter…………Love
Shirley Anne xxx
Thanks Shirley Anne- It warms my heart what you said. Trust me, I’m no angel, and this journey is the first real thing I have done in my life. Throughout the years I’ve hidden behind any crutch not to expose my inner fears. I maintained what I now call the “Dog & Pony Show”, just one long comedy sketch to keep people laughing but not getting close. Now I’m exposing all those things I’ve tried so hard to keep hidden. My insecurity. My fear. My heart. All in an effort to live as genuine a life as I can. I figure if that’s the goal for my children to truly be who they are, I better start living that way as well. So here I am. Unzipping my armor and letting it all hang out. The good, the bag & the less than pretty.
I’m grateful for you. Know that. Much Love & Best Wishes, Jen
Very cool! Thanks for sharing
We can only be ourselves Jen. To deny that is to deny life. Be yourself and forget what the world has to say. If people cannot accept you it is they who have the problem, not you. You can now see how it is with others who hide behind a facade. It is all false and pretentious. No, be you, for that is all you can be. Love
Shirley Anne xxx
sometimes it really is the little things that make all the difference. Hang in!
Quite shocking – a sensitive, kind, competent pediatric office!
I’m very happy for this positive development – it’s funny how seemingly little things like that can buoy our spirits.
You’re a great mom . . .
Thanks for the love Angi. Little by little I am catching my breath and learning to handle life moment by moment. It’s freeing. With the love and support of friends & family it’s possible. Love- Jen
I totally get the “small gesture” thing.
I got a job over winter break using my chosen name. I work with kids with autism spectrum disorders. I applied as Andrew and that was fine, but until I legally change my name I have to have my government name associated with my email account there. But whenever my supervisor emails me it starts “Andrew-”. It just means a lot to me.
I’m starting to realize how special names are. I am so glad that you are working in an environment where you can be yourself. So happy for you. Best- Jen
hi,
i just wanted to say that i recently started reading yr blog around the same time i started coming out to people in my life that i am transgendered. i am not undergoing physical transition, but am changing my name and allowing myself to be who i really am (androgynous, called “female” at birth but have always known that i was not “either/or”, but me), and i have to say that yr words are really helpful and touching to me and give me a little warmth to think of a little kid who is going through some similar challenges in her life and sharing the struggle with her seemingly-supportive family. quite frankly it gives me hope for my own situation, and that the people in my life might embrace me the way you embrace your daughter.
so thanks for being awesome
best regards,
amets
I am so grateful that you shared that with me Amets. Please feel free to stay connected and I wish you the very best. I am finding that some people embrace us right away & others need to take some time to wrap their head around the changes. Wishing you much love- Jen