Dear Jan, Kate, and the rest of this wonderful assemblage..I speak with the greatest respect and humility for the suffering that we all share. What a sad social conundrum in which so many of us find ourselves. How can we not be confused when we are taught that character counts only to find that the truth has subtext thst goes like this: Character counts if no other societally determined precepts are contradicted.

I’m working on a website that speaks directly to this contradiction. Jen, i do not expect that my approach that I am calling ‘METAPHYSICAL DETERMINISM’ will help you very much, as you’re position is unfortunately subordinate to a school system that holds your child ransom,

And in a very real way elementary school is the very place where we would, in egalitarian society, celebrate diversity and the courage to manifest it. Yet in eery duplication of my elementary experience of 50 years ago, Hope must necessarily conceal her true nature,her inner strength, her very powerful awareness of the transformative nature of personality at a time that we might celebrate her courage to find herself in this maze of imposed identity.
So she will carry the same burden that I did for so many years. She will hear many words like courage, honesty, character, humility ad infintitum…words that she will be compelled to define but prohibited from demonstrating. The reason for this is the first artificial division of all humans into the gendered binary, or sexism as programmed by the state.

Sexism is a conceptual wall, built and maintained by men, that divides people into two social groups for the sake of control. And the indoctrination begins so early in life that we are powerless to contradict it. This corruption of the spirit not only strangles human potential, but places parents in the role of accomplice in this process of the indoctrination. And so it goes…
In a just world where human-ness is paramount, we would explode this myth of sexism and applaud children like Hope and parents like you for their adherence to principles of ethical behavior.

This ain’t that kind of place…yet but as for me, I will continue to speak out against the most virulent of all virus to infect human consciousness for those of you who can’t.

Having said that, I wouldn’t wish it any other way. My daughter is a happy, well adjusted person who is thrilled to just be one of the girls. She is living the life she’s dreamed of and every child deserves that chance- to be who they are without any added pressure. Thank you for your thoughts & stay in touch. Best- Jen

Shirley Anne

I’ve lost my bearings and I feel adrift in my own life. Nothing now is how I thought it was, not even me. So when people casually ask ‘So, what have you been up to?’ or ‘Do you have children? How many? How old are they?’ etc, like you I am overwhelmed by the enormity of the responses they provoke in me. If I stumble through with euphemisms and half truths I feel my chest constricting and my face start to burn. The fear that others will judge me or turn away is there for me too.

I don’t have any helpful hints. I try to avoid social situations and retreat to the relative safety of human interaction via the internet I’ve actually made a few new friends that way, who have spilled into ‘real life’, who only know the ‘new’ me. Then I have the very dear, old friends who have walked beside me into this new world, and just accept me as I am. As I said though, I still find social niceties agonizing.

So although I have no useful tips I just wanted to say that I can empathize. Once again I find myself full of admiration for the ways you find to deal with the challenges you meet. The kindness of strangers really is something isn’t it? But you have to be brave enough to keep your heart open to it. And that’s what I admire about you most of all. That through Hope’s journey and your own you have kept your heart and mind open. How much you choose to do that, to what extent, when and where is up to you. Be kind to yourself. You’ll get no judgements from me.

I will fight the good fight- always. And with your support I literally feel like I can move mountains. I am so grateful for what you shared with me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. My Best- Jen