Tags
acceptance, coping, family, friends, future, gender identity, gender variance, healing, home, inspiration, love, self awareness, self expression, transgender, transition
Last week I found this sign in the most unlikely of places and couldn’t resist. I raced to the cashier as if someone were chasing me and no sooner had I walked in the door I hung it on the wall in the busiest area of the house.
Hope.
Lately I’ve been on this design frenzy searching for ways to make us feel cozier, more relaxed, more secure in this new house. Put our mark on it. Make it our own. And little by little it starts to resemble us with a small change here and there and it feels easier to live.
Hope.
Last night we had much-loved friends over and my heart swelled with the feeling of love and security. Of purpose and stability. Of acceptance and generosity. For so much talk about what’s wrong in the world, I clearly know what is right. And I’ll hang on to this feeling for a really long time.
I am so happy that your child has a mom like you, what a wonderful testimony. I wished I could have told my parents the same thing when I was four because I also ‘knew’ at that age. I have since come through the portal to find myself and am as happy as I can be. Best wishes for you and your daughter. Lots of love
Shirley Anne xxx
Thank you Shirley Anne- The longer I live the more I realize that everyone does it differently. Some people come to their realizations (whatever they may be) early, later or never. It’s this crazy journey we are all on. Our gift is that Hope knows who she is and it has helped me realize who I am too. It sounds corny, but it is my destiny. I am so grateful to have my family and this chance to hopefully get it right. Best wishes- Jen
Hope is very lucky to have a mother like ! you i wish my mother could have been half as great as you
Thank you Rubin. Trust me, I am no saint. I make mistakes by the minute it seems (just ask my kids) but I feel so strongly about encouraging them to be themselves no matter what that means. I never got that as a kid. Was told to be perfect and then left to puzzle over what that meant and how it conflicted with who I truly was. I never wanted my kids to have the self hatred I grew up with and then the crippling lack of self confidence that still creeps into my psyche now & again. It’s a journey. I’ll never say my parents (or any others) did or do the wrong thing. I haven’t walked in their shoes. The only experience I know for sure is mine and I am hell bent on doing what I know in my heart is the right thing for me and my children. I appreciate you reaching out & it gives me such courage. My very best- Jen
Good luck, Jen. I also struggle with what to tell old friends/acquaintances who ask casually about “the girls.” About 18 months ago, I stumbled totally and could not answer the question posed by new work friends, do you have boys or girls?
I don’t think there’s an easy way out — you can’t tell everyone. And, yes, it does feel like a betrayal to use the old pronoun for my trans child. Others’ tips and coping mechanisms are welcomed.