Yesterday I was talking with some friends about what makes it so hard for some parents to accept their LGBT kids. Is it religion? What is it? I asked if it could be the fear of the unknown that stops people in their tracks.

We’re creatures of habit. When things happen unexpectedly people react in different ways. Some of us panic. Some of us eat. Some of us medicate. Some of us go into control mode. Whatever the response is we know that not knowing what things will feel or look like makes living a “formula” life impossible.

Life won’t look like a J Crew ad with relaxed smiles and enviable grace. We can’t predict what the next moment could bring because it isn’t really represented to us in familiar ways, say film or tv. There aren’t many representations of what life looks like so how do we get familiar? For me it’s by talking with other parents like me. It’s by reading stories of similar experiences and feeling through the writer’s or character’s choices. For me, it’s looking around and realizing that we all have an unwritten script. We are all juicy characters with phenomenal dialogue and presence.

None of us know what will happen next. And if we are truly living in the moment then every one of us has to take a deep breath and let life happen.