Wisps of Change
As I styled my little girl’s hair today I realized how much it’s grown. And so has her confidence.
Last week when I saw the email from her school about a dance where the kids are required to “dress to impress”, I wondered what it would look like getting dressed that morning. Stressful? Playful? I was willing to let things unfold naturally and encourage Hope to choose whatever she felt comfortable in.
Today was the morning of the dance and I sat back and just watched. A couple months ago this would have meant crying and worrying. Clothes piled up on the floor and a sad little girl sitting in the center bewildered by what she wanted. Today it meant a happy, decisive young lady who tried on an outfit, gave it a twirl in front of her bedroom mirror and said “Let’s go!” I can’t help but think that her wispy curls provide a little glimpse of the long locks she has always dreamed about. The promise of good things yet to come.
Who wouldn’t be excited about that?
Isnt it a wonderful ride we are on ? Always try and remember the highs when you do hit a low. Those little moments of sheer joy make it all worthwhile. Kids are so tuned to hair and clothes as the indicator of gender. As her hair grows longer you will see her confidence and happy grow along with it. Who ever knew that a first braid, ponytail or curls could become such a joyful moment. Just take it all in and enjoy!
You are right Melissa. Each little step is a celebration. I don’t ever want to forget that we are so blessed. Despite everything that we struggle with we are so grateful to be here and have each other.
I am a new follower of your journey, but am instantly a dedicated one
Added you to my blogroll, etc. What a wonderful, trying, frightening, loving, inspiring journey. I am so glad to witness it.
~Erin
Thanks Erin. You just made my day! Stay in touch and best to you- Jen
Oh my Goddess. I am so glad you are my adopted mommy! You are one of the most courageous, sensitive, thoughtful, articulate people…I could go on and on and on about You. Oh sure I know there are more like you. You just happen to be my favorite!
A foot in Two worlds? Indeed you have stumbled upon a great truth that lies before us like one of those Escher paaintings, wherein you look at it once and it’s a boy and you blink and look again and it’s a girl. Now we must blink a third time, to see the whole. For it is the unified duality…of life of nature, of thought, gender, religion, politics that represents the whole of humankind. The problem we all must deal with is one of perception as opposed to awareness. Perception focuses, categorizes, pigeonholes. That is the purpose of perception.
The ‘perception’ of appropriate gender roles [whatever that means and it means something different to everyone] is strictly a conditioned view, persistently propped up by a, hierarchical, male dominated, religiously indoctrinated, self-appointed authoritarian society where the rules of engagement are determined in advance. This fixation on rigid gender roles is no more than a desperate grab at a societal control mechanism designed to keep the serfs in place.
Awareness on the other hand, spreads ut like waves in the ocean engulfing, including embracing WHAT IS. Awareness cannot be manipulated the conscious perception has been for centuriess. Aware is the purest state existence for it precedes the judgment that causes suffering.
On being male or female, what precedes these gendered determinations is the word BEING. It is the act of being that precedes gender. And what do we know about being? That from a quantum perspective WE ARE ALL LIGHT BEINGS. This is our essence, not the stuff of sex and gender that is constantly being levied against usa all. To me this is the universal truth and we must remember it lest we continue as individuals, locked into a dualistic paradigm, to become convince that all we must do to be free is decorate the walls of our cells in an appropriate, politically correct manner.
Outside the walls of the little cubicle is the vast airy, expansive realm of human diversity in all of its glory. Sure it’s scary out here in the wide open field of life, where the endless permutations of size, shape and color of beautiful wildflowers are looked upon with reverence by the same people who are threatened by gender expression.
Sorry I rambled on a bit intellectually, but I am warming up using you as a guinea pig for a treatise on Global Human Rights using the duality of gender as the theoretical springboard.
Also I am struggling as a BLONDE Brain with my new website [TRANSGENDERLIFESUPPORTSERVICES.COM] not yet published in which I will offer myself as a speaker and consultant for all things trans…except for the challenge of raising a TransKid that you have so readily embraced. Whew, you got GRIT!
Okay wait, I’m rambling on your blog…guess I should go to mine.
Thanks Mommy Jen. You remain my hero. Rosie
Rosie- What you call rambling (and I call beautiful) makes a great deal of sense to me. Yes, we tend to forget we are all beings living equally on this planet first and foremost. Why do we forget this? We are all just people. And I know in my heart we all have challenges, no matter if they are visible on our person or not. Every one of us has a hurdle to face in some way. It makes me remember to be more gracious and loving with all people. You never know what they are going through. It’s about love for me. Love. Love. Love. For me, you, my children, my fellow human beings. Thank you for this wake up call. I needed it. xoxoxo – Jen