Comments on: Split Personalities & Living Stealth

By: TodayYouAreYou

TodayYouAreYou — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 17:59:06 +0000

I never thought of that Scott. I never think of myself as being part of the process I guess. I have such admiration for people who are transitioning. It takes so much courage and strength to be exactly who you are. I don’t know many people in general who can be 100% themselves. It inspires me every day to be real (as hard as that is sometimes). Keep in touch & thank you for sharing that. Best- Jen

By: Scott Knowles

Scott Knowles — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 16:37:43 +0000

I think your journey with Hope isn’t much different than an older person transistioning. The same issues and problems arise in their life about their present with respect to their past and future. The only difference is your taking care of two people, Hope and yourself, instead of someone taking care of their own life. Yours is clearly the hardest for now, and so much to be thanked for being a caring mother and mom, but in time yours, like Hope’s, will be easier as she grows up and is ever more comfortable in her life, and you’re safe to just be her mom, letting everyone else to decide for themselves. And it’s good you have a support group along with this blog to share. Thank you.

By: TodayYouAreYou

TodayYouAreYou — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:38:15 +0000

Thank you Jen- I really needed that inspiration today!

I can’t tell you Melissa how reassuring it is to know there are other parents out there facing the same fears and overcoming them. I love your analogy of walking on the edge of a razor blade. It pretty much sums up how comfortable you feel most of the time, but it does get better little by little. We all get stronger and more confident about who we are.

My best to you both,
Jen

By: melissanc

melissanc — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 05:23:39 +0000

I call it trying to walk on the edge of a razor blade. I had assumed when I moved almost 500 miles from home that things would be much easier. And to a point they are. But like your situation at the coffee house I learned that even at this distance it was difficult. I was ” outed ” by an ex friend that ran into us at the mall here, yes 500 miles away. Luckily she did not say anything to Chris that day but she did decide to go back home and tell a few people and I think you know where that went. I am now ” that crazy lady that turned her boy into a girl ” back there. So be it. I can take it myself and Chris goes along clueless as to what happened.

At first it was horrible as friends I left behind there each e mailed me asking what had happened. And finally I gave up and let them know. Most chose to sever our friendships but a rare few didnt. Now i look back and I am glad it happened. At least here we are still stealth and back home well that is a place I wont return to. I guess in a way it is easier for me moving far away but the issues still came up.

All I can say is that as time goes on if you do find yourself being outed at some point protect the lil one and just take the hits yourself. I hope that never happens though. You nor Hope deserve that.

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 05:10:39 +0000

There may not be a guidebook now, but I suspect you would be the ideal person to create one. Your path is one I believe other parents in your situation would want to follow and know as they travel behind you.