Hazy Mornings & Hormone Blockers
The clock read 5am and I was awake in bed this morning. Can’t seem to change my internal body clock with the Daylight Savings program I guess. Instead of reaching for my iPhone and checking messages (my daily ritual) I stayed still with the covers crunched around my fingers resting at the base of my chin. After I got over how quiet the condo was I had a startling thought… Hope might not be able to have her own children. Really??!!??
My mind swirled. Maybe they freeze sperm? Maybe she won’t have sperm because of delaying puberty? How does that work? Where is my transgender bible, I thought. Where is The Transgender Child? I blamed the upcoming move for my laziness in finding the copy, but swore I would do some research to find out what exactly happens when we delay puberty. I know that she will receive hormone blockers that delay the onset of puberty, but beyond that I need to talk with our pediatric endocrinologist it seems. I want to see him now; however, last time I called he told me I was a little early for all the discussions. I wish everyone was on my timetable. 
We are lucky to have hormone blockers available. We have been told that they do not have any side effects for the child beyond halting the development of puberty. It terrifies Hope. We call it secondary sexual characteristics- the Adam’s apple, the facial hair, the deepening of the voice and angling of the facial features. She calls it “looking like Daddy.” and although she adores her father she DOES NOT want to look like a man when she gets older.
From the research I have done thus far, when she is ready, maybe a decade or so from now, we’ll discuss female hormones. Afterwards, when she is ready, we’ll discuss gender reassignment surgery. I am not ready to go there now so I will leave all that big stuff for another day. There are other matters that rise to the top of my Mommy To-Do List now like breakfasts and clothes and homework and hugs and kisses.
I hear they’ve figured out how to create sperm from something in the body–bone marrow, maybe? AND they’re getting closer to womb transplants. She’s young, so she’s got so much possibility ahead of her. Even if she does have her own children, there are always babies to be adopted and children to be volunteered with. Life is full of opportunities for love–don’t fret too much yet
And thank you for the compliment on my site. Sorry it wouldn’t let you log-in…I’ll go see if I can do anything about that.
I was thinking about you and Hope the other day, and about this very thing– the dreaded puberty and teen years. They’re excrutiating enough for “normal” kids. =(
It seems even if it’s early implement hormone therapy, it shouldn’t be too early to talk about it and begin exploring options (I know it’;s totally different, but it reminds me of sitting in my OB’s office when I was interviewing her before getting pregnant to make sure I wanted her to be my dr, and asking her about labor and childbirth– she waved my concerns away and said we’d talk about all that “later.” Well, later turned out to be at 7 months pregnant when I realized she and I had COMPLETELY different ideas of how my birth would go, and I had to go find myself a midwife instead. Again, seems to me it’s never too early to just begin that discussion).
I would not worry about having biological children so much. If Hope has the love you have instilled in her she will have enough love to give any child that needs her. Children find their parents. I know several moms who have become mothers without biology and their kids are their kids. Don’t worry about that.
Hi, I love your blog! I am 16 and have been reading about transgendered children. It interests me for some reason. Your kids sound amazing and you seem so great and supportive!
Maybe there could be a possibility of freezing sperm depending on when you start the hormone blockers, and when Hope hits puberty.
My heart fills with love when I read your thoughts and feel your support. Thank you so much!! Best- Jen