From April 2, 2009

Each person has their own way of expressing themselves. My 5 year old son became possessed by Hermione Grainger about a year ago and started speaking with a very authoritative British voice in everyday life. He would quote her, dress like her and literally embody the character. He said he was a girl inside.

While the bossy voice only lasted for only a couple months (now he just uses it when he is “playing the character” as he explains), being a girl inside is something that he still talks about now and again when he feels like it. We choose to simply listen and support where he goes with it. We’re not oblivious… we had the discussion about the way his body was made, but does that determine who you are inside?

Does it matter that he likes to decorate himself? For Halloween he got the full wig and Hogwarts cloak and tie. He also asked Santa for a princess outfit (which Hermione prefers on more formal occasions). We aren’t afraid of him wearing these clothes. I believe it allows him to express himself and explore his imagination conjuring an intricate web of his own stories and characters. Who knows where this type of creativity could lead him?

Today he came to me and asked if we could cut his Hermione hair and I agreed. Very specific about the style (very Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone), I asked him if he realized that it would never grow back. His quizzical expression said it all. “It’s a wig Mom”, he politely informed me like an old soul gently reaching out to youth.

Not everyone likes this- I get that. This might not be a choice another parent would make and that is okay with us. This is our choice. It works for us. Nevertheless, some people who are close to us communicate a cautious warning (or two) as if wearing dress up clothes will make him scarred for life. While I appreciate the care they show for us, it doesn’t change the way we support him or allow him to navigate through his feelings. So what if he feels like a girl inside? So what if he likes to dress up and play characters?

We are proud of who he is inside and out. A sensitive, loving, funny, intelligent, ethical and dynamic individual who knows he can always come to his parents and tell them the truth. He knows from experience that we will remain open and listen without fear or anger. His feelings and thoughts have a safe haven in our loving outstretched arms and minds. That is enough for us.